Season 2 quotes

Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered

Xander: "Okay, big yuks. When are you guys gonna' stop making fun of me for dating Cordelia?"
Buffy: "I'm sorry...but never. I just think you could find somebody
more...better."
Xander: "In a parallel universe, maybe."

Xander: "I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple, direct, stake to the heart. No muss, no fuss."

Buffy: "Sorry to say, Xand, but slaying is a tad more perilous than dating."
Xander: "Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia."

Willow: "My boyfriend's in the band."
Amy: "Cool."
Buffy: "I think you've now told everybody."
Willow: "Only in this hemisphere."

Buffy: "Oh, Valentine's Day is just a cheap gimmick to sell cards and
chocolates."
Amy: "Bad break-up, huh?"
Buffy: "Believe me when I say, 'uh-huh'."

Giles: "Better safe than sorry."
Buffy: "It's a little late for both."

Angel: "Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards."
Spike: "Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression."
Angel: "Lacks...poetry."
Spike: "It doesn't have to. What rhymes with 'lungs'?"

Cordelia: "Your clothes. You look so good."
Xander: "I let Buffy dress me. Well, not physically."
Cordelia: "Perfect, you had to make this harder, didn't you?"
Xander: "Okay, clearly the fact that I please you visually has got us off on the wrong foot here."

Cordelia: "Thank you, it's beautiful. I want to break up."
Xander: "Okay, not quite the reaction I was looking for."

Xander: "Do you know what's a good day to break up with somebody? Any
day besides Valentine's Day! I mean, what, were you running low on dramatic irony?"

Harmony: "Gee, Xander, maybe you should learn a second language so that even more girls can reject you."

Cordelia: "I thought it was a gift."
Xander: "No. Last night, it was a gift. Today, it's scrap metal. Figure I can melt it down, sell it for fillings or something."

Giles: "Look, here's another, here. Um, 'Valentine's Day,' yes, um, 'Angel nails a puppy to the...'"
Buffy: "Skip it."
Giles: "But..."
Buffy: "I don't want to know. I don't have a puppy. Skip it."
Giles: "Right you are, I'll get another batch."

Xander: "You know what? It was wrong to meddle with the forces of darkness. I see that now. I think we've all grown. I gotta go."

Willow: "I want you, Xander... to be my first."
Xander: "Baseman! Please tell me we're talking baseball."

Xander: "I made a mess, Giles. See, I found out that Amy's into witchcraft, and I was hurt, I guess, so I made her put the love whammy on Cordy, but it backfired. And now every woman in Sunnydale wants to make me her cuddle monkey. Which may sound swell on paper, but..."

Giles: "I cannot believe that you were fool enough to do something like this."
Xander: "Oh no, I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this."

Oz: "That kinda' hurt."
Xander: "'Kinda''? What was that for?"
Oz: "I was on the phone all night, listening to Willow cry about you. Now, I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to hit you."

Amy: "Why did you send Xander away? He needs me."
Jenny: "That's a laugh."
Amy: "He loves me. We look into each other's souls."
Jenny: "No one can love two people at once. What we have is real."
Giles: "Instead of making me ill, why doesn't one of you try to help me?"

Drusilla: "Your face is a poem. Oh, I can read it."
Xander: "Really? It doesn't say, "spare me" by any chance?"
Drusilla: "How do you feel about eternal life?"
Xander: "We couldn't just start with a coffee? A movie, maybe?"

Cordelia: "Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep."
Harmony: "I'm not a sheep."
Cordelia: "You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does, just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are, 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I want to do, and I wear what I want to wear, and you know what? I date whoever the hell I want to date. No matter how lame he is."

Cordelia: "Oh, God, what have I done?! They're never going to speak to me
again!"
Xander: "Oh, sure they are. If it helps, whenever we're around them, you and I can fight a lot."
Cordelia: "You promise?"
Xander: "You can pretty much count on it."